The 5 Lies I Tell
I know it – I’m well known for being kindly honest. And usually I’m humble. But today I’m bragging about how truthful I am in business … my clients thank me for saving them money and time and never leading them down the wrong path just so I can make a buck!
And now that’s out of the way. I have to admit I have a few lies I tell too. Oops!
But don’t worry – the truth is, I just tell them to myself but I may be guilty of you believing something of me that’s not true in my stellar good behaviour I usually bring to the party! So today, I’m admitting my lies – the first step to overcoming them. Right?
The 5 Lies I Tell Myself
- I can do anything.
- I will accomplish everything I want.
- My kids always get my attention when they want it.
- I enjoy working late into the night.
- I have it together.
Why Are These Lies & Why Do They Matter?
- Well, I do “believe” I can do anything – the truth is, I don’t want to be able to do “anything”. I don’t want to skydive. I don’t want to be an accountant. I want to just be myself and do all the things that make up the life I want to live. The “I can do anything” mentality is what causes bright shiny object syndrome and a sense of floundering around in space. For me, focus is what I need, not dreams about “anything.”
- Going hand in hand with lie number 1, I also allow myself to believe I can do EVERYTHING. My “to do” list is always far longer than the hours I have. I often underestimate the amount of time a task takes. And I never shortchange my client work by turning off the clock. My work and personal list of desired achievements are overwhelming. I’m starting to believe the art of unitasking is critical to my happiness and sanity and success.
- My 3 young daughters are fortunate to have grown up nearly entirely with 2 work from home parents. We get to be together more than most families. I know we have created a lovely launch pad for their life by virtue of being able to “just be there”. I spend 50% of my day driving them to and from school and activities and on these drives we talk and sing and talk and sing. It’s true quality time. And then there are the hours and days when I shut my computer and we run off to the amusement park or the zoo or just sit in the sunshine. (Did you catch those are my disclaimers before I tell my truth?) But the truth is, it never feels like enough. The “mommy, can you come nowwwwww?!” question gets a “in a minute” answer so much that they now count to 60 and call me a liar. So there you have it. They know it too. I do believe that work from home parents are giving a great service to their children – I mean, they are learning independence and entrepreneurship under our (mostly) watchful eyes after all! But MY truth is that I wish there was 2 of me so I could run a business and be a fully attentive parent all the time. They deserve it. In spite of me, and this is not a disclaimer, they have a lovely sister bond that doesn’t usually need me, or even want me now, unless they need food or fight intervention.
- I am a night owl. That is a fact, but as I get closer to the big 4-0 the harder it is becoming to stay up until 2 a.m. putting finishing touches on a project or hammering away at something inspiring that takes a huge block of time in one sitting. I do not enjoy working late at night. But often it’s the only time I have – I am a part-time entrepreneur after all. So I tell myself I like it because sometimes that’s the only way to pull through on lies 1 and 2 above.
- A few days a month, yes THOSE days, I am a complete basketcase affected by PMDD – it needs meds to manage it. I go from completely together to completely falling apart. It’s very scary sometimes. It sucks. It takes a chunk of time out of the precious kid-free work hours I carve out (need it for self-care) and makes me a less than stellar parent when those kid-free hours are over. It is the hardest part of my life. And oops – I just told another lie because it’s not just a few days a month. It’s more like a week – increasing the closer I get to that 4-0 again. And the consequence of having my hormones change my personality and feelings so dramatically can shatter my otherwise steadfast confidence and commitment that some months I wonder if I’m going to keep at it! But I do. I always do. Because embracing that I’m not 100% together 100% of the time is freeing.
Why Do My Lies Matter To You?
It is critical to have a healthy balance of dreaming and self-truths in order to be a successful entrepreneur. Getting caught up in how we want to be, rather than how we are, is detrimental to happiness of ourselves and our families and our businesses. I am blessed with a confidence in my character from birth. I don’t think I’d be living the entrepreneurial life and mom to three kids if I didn’t think I could handle it… heck, thrive while doing it. Because thriving is what makes it worthwhile. But thriving is hard to get to. Some days surviving is the goal. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
Not everyone can (or should) tell the world they have hormonal depression or anything so personal. But you do have to tell yourself the truth. And then build a happy life and business around it. That’s what success truly is – creating a happy, thriving life and business in spite of our realities.
My lies matter to you because you probably tell yourself the same ones. I’m a huge advocate for saving yourself time and money in business by having superclear focus on what you want and how to get there… and you can’t do it unless you admit the lies you tell yourself. The lies are distractions and slow down your momentum. Do you know your own lies? Can you reveal them to yourself just long enough to give yourself a high five for knowing yourself well enough to tell your self-truth?
I’m sure I’ll keep telling myself a few lies to get through the rough spots. But mostly, I stick to my slow and steady path of finding my success in my own time, in my own way. I remember to love my kids first, last and always – even if I miss a few of their demands and requests along the way. And, just as important, I’m learning to love myself more even when I discover I’ve lied to myself again!